Shut Up & Sit Down

Quinns: Another week, another round up of games news! Give us your brain for a moment. We’re going to roll it down the carpeted staircase of what happened in board games this week. Starting with some Kickstarters you might want to get involved in!

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You know when you buy a game, and you know it’s going to be good?

“This will be a great time,” you announce to your cactus or spouse. “I have been convinced by this game’s art and premise that I will enjoy myself.”

Your coat’s still on. You pick up the phone. “Barry?” You say. “It’s me. Would you like to come over and have a great time?”

I was convinced Robinson Crusoe was the game for me. Guess what!

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Quinns: Welcome to Games News, our new Monday morning feature. It’s now… 4pm, so it’s not morning anymore, but that’s OK, because this isn’t really news. Rather, it’s whatever hot reveals and dank announcements the SU&SD team have been excited by this week.

Don’t know what to be excited by in board gaming? Just follow our lead.

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Yes, we’re still working on something. You’d better be patient, it’s still some way away.

In the meantime, Quinns continues his dirty scribbling for the big videogame sites. He’s doing good work, though! Look here! Over on Kotaku he’s written about why big ol’ licensed games aren’t the beginning and end of board gaming. A balanced diet needs Eurogames, for their fibre and slow-release energy. It goes a bit like this:

“You look over at them, and see your friend pushing around a perfect scale model of a Nebula Class science vessel, just like you guys did last week and the week before. With every round the novelty wears off a little more. You see your friends now, moving their fleets like dissatisfied toddlers pushing their food around. They’ve seen all the cards. They know all the exploits. One of them is crying. You try and stand up. You think you have a token up your bum.”

No, I don’t know, either. Go read!

Quinns has written another Eurogamer review to tide you over until we return. If Tzolk’in was a huge, great club for your brain to wield, Skull & Roses is a rusty little shiv.

“Now, I could tell you that Skull & Roses is simple enough to teach to your grandmother or grandchildren. I could tell you that it’s exciting, tense and rich enough to retain even the most hardcore gamer’s attention. But I’d rather tell you this: You should buy Skull & Roses because it makes people scream.”

Shut Up & Sit Down absolutely recommends. Go read!

Here’s something to keep you guys hungry. Quinns has just posted his review of Tzolkin: The Mayan Calendar on Eurogamer, and it’s ONLY the most impressive game we’ve played this year.

“Getting worked up about mundane themes is a bit of a theme in itself in contemporary board gaming. Dyspeptic classic Thurn and Taxis is a good example: a game about running a 16th-century Bavarian postal service where failing to finish a route between Pilsen and Budweis brings on a feeling not unlike death. In the case of Tzolk’in, you could not be more emotionally invested in a corn cob unless you sat on one very fast.”

Ooh, it’s a fine game. Go read!

“Return already,” cried eager commenter Kebabylon, on that last post, only today!

We’re working on it. Are we ever working on it.

In the meantime, Quinns has been busy writing about board games for other sites! Why not check out his games of 2012, his entirely deranged list of games to watch in 2013, or his review on Eurogamer of the Gears of War board game? Why, indeed.

A lot of you have been asking “When’s the next video? The next podcast? Why the silence, SU&SD?”

We’re silent because we’re working harder than ever on something very, very big. Something every one of you guys will love.

We recommend you spend this time with your loved ones. Pull them close. Tell them how much you care. Sniff their cards. Run a practised finger along their inlays. And once you’re done, spend some time with your family, too.

The golden age of board gaming is upon us, ladies and gentlemen.

Get ready.

- Quinns & Paul

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Quinns: I’m meeting a lot of board gamers here in New York. It’s like Christmas, and I’m Santa, except they gift me with a game and only rarely sit on my lap and you know what this analogy doesn’t work at all

Today I was walked through WONDERFUL post-apocalyptic tactics game Neuroshima Hex!, released in 2006 and since expanded by a untidy bag of army packs. My friend took out this game, taught it to me, and promptly put it away again.

“We’ll play on the iPad,” he said. “It’s better on the iPad.”

My face promptly crumpled up like a plastic bag in a strong breeze. Worst part of it is, he was right.

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